Category Archives: Witch

Weird Horoscopes Week of 4/22/2018

Photo by Nicola Albertini 

#WeirdHoroscopes for the week of 4/22/2018

#Taurus: all acts of love & beauty are in your name this week, so ask mirror mirror on the wall what your self care should look like. Keep your spells & ruby apples for yourself, & rock that cape with a collar day & night.

#Gemini now is the time to bathe in donkey’s milk, encase your heart in golden honey, & teach your little asp to be your accomplice instead of your executioner. See how many bangles y’all can sneak out of the pyramids between you

#Cancer How can you best serve the Mother Darksome & Divine, & in turn, yourself? Try tattooing your lover in their sleep, mentoring at-risk bats, or start a school for wayward girls with pyrokinesis. Find the right cause to bring you back to your clawed heart.

#Leo If you are bored, it’s not you. It’s them. Your mantra: Be the gala at the haunted mansion. Be the reason the portraits’ eyes follow you through a room. Like, attracts like, dear Leo, & you’re well on your way to catching the eye of a charismatic succubus.

#Virgo It’s great that you appreciate aesthetics, but stop hiring your friends from model casting calls. Instead, summon some of the lovelier daemons from the realm of ether & fog. That #squad is much more your speed. Go hit the clubs!

#Libra Love is waiting for you in unexpected places, like secret passageways, a plucky werewolf pack, a forgotten pharaoh’s cursed tomb. Love is like The Hanged Man, upended, making it rain, loosely referencing ravens picking out your liver, but for the better!

#Scorpio Dress for the vigilante antihero job you want, not the one you have. Whether you’re more of a Mata Hari or Punisher, think carefully about the props you need—poison darts? Pitchforks?—what they say about you, & the energy they attract from the throngs

#Sagittarius If things don’t go@your way, make the chaos entertaining, like the Boschian nightmares you know & love. Let the farm animals indoors, fill the wells with perfume, adopt a tarantula, go to magic camp! It might be the most fun you have this year.

#Capricorn When was the last time you rolled around on the floor for the sheer pleasure of it? Or made friends with the rats at the park or on the subway? Prioritize glee. Teach a religious leader how to hula-hoop. Quit the banal. Become the Emperor of Ice Cream.

#Aquarius go outside, take a deep breath, & build the enchanted citadel you dreamt of through the long winter & planned with the thousands-year-old angels. Now is the time for your plans to blossom into gargoyles, flying buttresses, & architectural cryptomancy.

#Pisces What do you need to create an impenetrable sense of home? Whether you fill your garden with the top 10 poisonous plants, or build a thrifty diy fence of recycled daggers, be sure to give offerings to your house spirit & call your alien overlord collect.

#Aries Even the war gods need to chillax once in a while. Bring Cerberus, your three-headed puppy, out for a long walk in the sulphuric fjords, fashion a hammock from the flesh of your enemies, and just let the world melt away. Tiny umbrellas for your chalice!


Romani Gypsy fortune telling, poetry, and family history interview with Agape Editions

Photo by Viktor Pachas

I had so much fun being interviewed by Eniko Vaghy of Agape Editions for their series Cards on the Table. I discuss the relationship between Romani “Gypsy” fortune telling and persecution, my family’s line of Romani medicine work, eclectic witch magic, writing techniques using tarot, my rituals before reading for clients, and lots more! I loved Eniko’s thoughtful questions, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did.

Weird Horoscopes: Week of April 16, 2018

Weird Horoscopes by Jezmina Von Thiele! Here are my best cryptic predictions to keep you healthy and whole this week.

#Aries:You’ve been bowing to the powerful specter who lives inside you for too long. No one tells you what to do! Not even your own specter. Now is the time to rise up inside yourself & implement a ruthless revolution. & then treat yo’self to a sheet mask or date night.

#Taurus: You need to build an R&R-burrow to do some feelings, & because you draw comfort from tangible things, demand that the spirits of ether manifest. Let the archangels burn with splendor! Because for you, it isn’t real unless it’s right there blazing in your self-care bunker.

#Gemini: All the shady AF creatures you invited to your glam nocturnal garden parties are kind of douchey, so you’ve whisked yourself away to smokier realms. Stick to high standards for your infamous social calendar from now on. Enchanted fawns and Sumerian serpent priestesses only.

#Cancer: Your ambition to build the best crystal-shell palace is admirable, & your often-unseen blood-thirst for success is Queenly. Make sure your creatures will aid you in your deeds, & support your journey to be better than everyone. The bonding that follows is transcendent.

#Leo: If you’re wondering if everything is a lie & your anxiety is manifesting as hoards of spiders crawling up the walls, you’re right where you’re supposed to be. The new moon is an excellent time to take up hatchet throwing AND and hatchet burying. & maybe buy a funky crystal.

#Virgo: Everyone is really into you telling them what to do. People will probably pay you to do it, so dig deep & sweetly delve into their childhood issues in the boardroom. You’ll have your CEO crying like a baby & handing you that promotion in no time. You’re THAT delightful!

#Libra: If you’ve been disappointed by people recently, they’re stupid. Appeal to the magic boar of the forest to bring your true peeps (alive). Y’all might be scared at first bc the boar is bigger than expected, but open your heart, for he is gentle, & will also bring scones.

#Scorpio: This week is all about rituals. Add a drop of dove’s blood to your bath (or pomegranate for vegans!) invoking the powers of sex and death. Cast spells from your desk with a discreet athame & that candle from Karen. Illustrate your grimoire with the black ichor of ages.

#Sagittarius: Have you been practicing your insect orchestra? The world is taken with your immense creative talent, as well as the thousand glittering eyes of your garage band. It’s time for you to monetize this. Humans & bats alike applaud your hard & unfathomable work.

#Capricorn: It’s like you’re writing your tell-all memoir to let people know what you will absolutely not tolerate, who should have behaved better, & who the real hero/ine is after all. & then a steamy romance novel about a tortured painter/werewolf lover that slowly comes true….

#Aquarius: To-do lists are too subtle for you. Now that you clawed your way out of darkness, you need totemic gauges in the altar you’ve made to your gods of blood, love, & magic. Hunt obscure ingredients at the new moon with the nocturnal gusto of a predator. This is #selfcare

#Pisces: Did you know that witches used “flying ointment,” an orgasmic herbal vaginal salve that made the user transcendent with pleasure? This is#goals for all areas of your life. You are in luxury so intense that it could be a religion. Do it up, merwitch style.

Featured image: Night Blossoms, 2018, Jezmina Von Thiele

On-set: New Beauty Company Photo Shoot

My sassy pup Lily joined me on-set this past weekend for a photoshoot! It’s for a new beauty start-up, which I’m really jazzed to share details about later. My hair was styled in this bangin’ updo by Master Stylist, Slade J. Guillory, who was a dream with the coolest specs I’ve ever seen. If you’re in NYC looking for a regal do, go to Slade for sure. He just turned me on to Davines hair products so I’ll report back on that too. Here are just some fun selfies I took after the shoot. I’m looking forward to sharing the real pics soon! Bonus: I  read cards and palms on-set; I love when I can bring my witchy vibes to work (and my baby monster dog).

Weird Horoscopes by Jezmina

Hello friends! I’ve written out your week’s horoscopes because I want you to be happy, work your strange magic, and also not take this strange human flesh journey too terribly seriously, especially when things are a little wild.

Aries: Make manipulation fun! Especially retributive manipulation with an edge of altruism. But keep your Machiavellian magic in the workplace because your loved ones are already onto you.

Taurus: The cool thing about hating everything right now is that it’s so much easier to burn it all to the ground, organize your rebel band of merrymakers, and get shit done in the beautiful wreckage of your spoils.

Gemini: If you’re just returned from a harrowing-yet-sexy journey to the underworld, use your newly acquired necromancy skills for good. Bring some healing to this world.

Cancer: If an octopus can live in a friendship colony after a long day of solo hunting and introspection, so can you. Scuttle up to your loved ones and stare into their eyes until everyone’s intimacy issues combust in a stunning display of underwater fireworks.

Leo: The chaos in your life is nothing compared to the chaos in your heart. Treat yourself. Break all of your lover’s dishes. It’ll be wonderfully cinematic.

Virgo: So the Lord of the Underworld isn’t impressed with your good deeds or your new screenplay. Honestly though, his taste isn’t really that refined, and Persephone really digs your vibe. Keep up the strange work.

Libra: This is the week for you to get in touch with your feelings, like every single wretched feeling you’ve ever worked tirelessly to suppress. Go ahead, take a taxidermy workshop to meditate on the horror of mortality & make it your plaything! This is healing time.

Scorpio: Use your shapeshifting skills to tell any perceived weakness to go fuck itself. Try saying “fuck this” as a crocodile, a mongoose, or a narwhal, & step into your odd changeling power. Confidence is the ability to shed your flesh shell for a better one at will.

Sagittarius: Your mantra this week is, “I am ten thousand kittens in a trench coat. Human standards mean nothing to me, and I surge with the power of fluffy cuteness dressed for espionage and drama! THE WORLD IS NO MATCH!” Now deep breath in, and exhale.

Capricorn: Instead of throwing tantrums at work, pick up an instrument to release your frustrations. You can always throw that too. Screaming into the void never felt so good, because in your case, the void kinda has a crush on you.

Aquarius: You’ve been wading in the deep lagoon of mortal shame & suffering for too long. Towel off, don your fav dressing gown & nightcap, & carry a lit candle while incanting poetry to the masses. Make them too think about what they’ve done. It’s time for you to shine!

Pisces: You’ve always been funny, but have you been a loyal servant to the ocean & all of its mysteries? Use your charm to befriend new species this week, or even discover them. Bring out that inner sparkle that attracts marine life enmasse. Few can resist!


Featured Image by Ivan Pavlovskyy

Witches, Sluts, Feminists

A while back I reviewed Kristen J. Sollee’s marvelous book Witches, Sluts, Feminists for BUST. In short, I loved it. “It’s a scintillating, wry, and accessibly academic overview of the witch archetype….” and I think if you’re digging the kinds of things I dig over here, then you’ll like it too. Check it out!


What’s in my art model bag?

Featured image by Miguel Ayuso of me modeling at his studio, La Bodega Studios, one of my favorites in Brooklyn

After so many years of modeling, I think I’ve perfected the art model go-bag. Whether your a first-time model looking for tips, a seasoned model comparing favorites, or a person who likes go-bags for speedy and well-stocked escapes, I think you’ll find some lovely gems here.


First, the bag

I suggest wearing a backpack for the sake of your spine health, and so you can fit all your essentials in. You can use any backpack you have, including your sharpied-up bag from high school. I’ve been using a canvas black and white striped bag for a while that I found at a thrift store, and this Guess Factory Take a Dive Backpack ($49.00 at Guess Factory) is pretty great too.


Guess Factory


Maybe this goes without saying, but every art model needs a good robe to wear on breaks. It’s tasteful, professional, and comfy. I find inexpensive, mid-length, cotton robes are the best. You don’t want your elegant, floor-length, velvet dressing gown picking up all the charcoal dust, paint, and goodness knows what else on the studio floor. And too short of a robe won’t do either; you won’t be able to stretch comfortably on breaks, and breaks really are for stretching. Plus, you don’t want to look like 30 Rock’s Devon Banks trying to seduce Kenneth in his hotel room. That’s a very hard-to-pull-off look.


Slip on shoes

For the same reason that you don’t want to wear a floor length silk robe, maybe you don’t want to wear your very best shoes. They’ll get dusty, painty, inky, etc over time. Since I don’t believe in voluntarily wearing ugly things, I tend to wear slip-on flats that have seen better days but I love them too much to let them go. You could wear sandals, I suppose, but you want to keep your flippers clean, so flats are the way to go. I really love wearing comfy, worn-out moccasins, too. It’s not cultural appropriation to wear moccasins because they’re just shoes– it’s simply cultural exchange. It’s nothing like wearing a headdress, or another sacred article of clothing, or dressing up as Native American for Halloween, which absolutely is cultural appropriation. I recommend supporting a Native American artisan by buying from sources like Beyond Buckskin rather than supporting corporations that rip-off and denigrate Native American designs, like Urban Outfitters.

Lately I’ve been wearing these cuties by T.U.K. from back when ModCloth was adorable (before the Wal*Mart buy-out).


Muscle rub

My absolute favorite is Tiger Balm Ultra Strength ($5.69 at Target) It’s a tiny tiger miracle– rub a little in to any places that feel sore, stressed, or seized up. It soothes and increases circulation with powerful tingles that feel so damn good (to me, anyway). You can rub some on your neck and temples if you’re getting a headache, too. It is also strongly scented with camphor (the active ingredient), however, so maybe ask the people in the studio if it’s cool with them before applying. Personally I love the scent, but it’s not for everyone.

You can also apply muscle rubs to sore muscles before you leave for your modeling gig (or muscles that you anticipate being sore) so that by the time you get to the job, the smell has dissipated and the tigers are doing their balmy magic.


“Amur Tiger– Water Walking” by Bernie Catterall

Some alternatives to Tiger Balm that are also good–

The classic, tingly, wintergreen-scented Bengay Ultra Strength ($6.97 at Target)

The natural pain reliever capsaicin stars in scentless Capzasin ($9.99 at Target)

Spring Chicken Muscle Rub ($12. 99 on Amazon), which smells faintly of cloves and works well without the tingling sensation other products have.

A luxe natural option is Young Living Panaway ($47.70 retail from Young Living), which requires a carrier oil. It’s more holistic, and the smell and sensation is also gentler than Tiger Balm

If you’re curious, you can check out this study on natural pain relievers

Pain relievers

3930eb7f58c211e494aee988632a628dThis is totally up to you, but if I’m feeling sore, inflamed, or otherwise in pain, I don’t like to suffer. I don’t recommend taking a pain reliever for every gig or anything like that, but if I have minor aches, I’d rather take something and do a good job than arrive not at my best. I usually have Excedrin Migraine in my bag because I’m prone to migraines, as well as Naproxen for muscle pain. (Never take them at the same time.) I’m not making any recommendations, nor am I qualified to give medical advice, but if there’s a pain reliever you already use, you may want to take it with you in case you need it.

When I have a headache on the job, I like to roll some Aveda Cooling Balancing Concentrate ($22 at Aveda) on my temples and neck for some pleasant-smelling relief, too.

Natural pain relievers

Some people incorporate fish oil, magnesium, and turmeric into their diet/supplement regimen for joint and muscle health. Although studies are inconclusive about the efficacy of magnesium in reducing muscle cramps, I  take a magnesium supplement daily alongside fish oil and turmeric. I think it helps…. But as always, consult a physician before taking any new supplement.


Mini massage ball



I freaking love this thing. I got it at Flying Tiger for $2, and I roll my foot over it, working out all the crunchy bits and sore spots. My feet are a little finicky after years of dancing, gymnastics, posing, sky-high stilettos… they need extra love. These tiny, spiky massage balls are a great way to do that for cheap. I bring it in my bag so I can use it on breaks. It’s especially great after standing poses.


Face powder


Sometimes you might need a touch up. I don’t have brand loyalty to any particular powder at the moment (ugh, millenials, right?) but I am really enjoying this one from Korea! (I’m obsessed with K-beauty)

Innisfree No-Sebum Mineral Powder ($9.00 on Amazon)

Because it’s translucent, you don’t have to worry about shade-matching. I like it because it’s super light, matte, and quite affordable.


Facial mist

It may seem high maintenance, but I recommend a good facial mist especially for your art model bag. Studios are filled with all kinds of dust, chemicals, and whatever else, and I really do feel like my skin dries out while I’m posing, which in turn, makes my prominent Italian/Romani nose shine like a beacon and the rest of my face feel tight, or even itchy. A facial mist creates a protective barrier between your skin and whatever chemicals are in the studio air.

Neogen H2 Dermadeca Spray ($19 on Soko Glam) This is technically a bomb serum, but it works as a slightly heavier, super hydrating facial mist over makeup too for a flawless look.

Goodal Moisture Barrier Rich Mist ($20 on Soko Glam) With milk lipids and mistletoe, this spritz keeps my skin dewy and protected. We’re on the way to honey skin!

Caudalie Beauty Elixir ($18/$49 at Sephora) This refreshing, pore-tightening, make-up setting spray is a cult favorite that lightly moisturizes as it tones. I use it to set my makeup in the winter before leaving the house, and then I follow with a heavier facial mist throughout the day as needed. In the summer though, this is generally all I need for a spritz and a pick-me-up.

Blotting Papers

dinoplatzYou can use any blotting papers really, but aren’t these Dinoplatz Dear Brachiasaurus Blotting Papers from TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL ($8 from Sephora) so adorable? I like that they come with a dino-mirror and a little sticky sponge for the papers. They’re great for keeping the shine off my face, which quells my concern that the artists will paint it in.



Lunchbox with snacks

Keep some fruit or veggies, and maybe some nuts (or another form of protein) handy fora little pick-me-up. Heavy things, like bread, meat, or cheese, tend to bloat and might cause a little stomach upset, so keep it light before you model and while you’re snacking on your breaks. I’ve been really into dried mango, diced red peppers, and a handful of cashews. Bonus if your lunchbox makes you smile.

Speaking of model health, here are my three best tips for not fainting while posing: 1. Breathe and don’t lock your knees, 2. Eat a snack, 3. Stay hydrated.

Water bottle

swellmilkywayOf course you can use any water bottle you want, glass or stainless steel being the best for your health. I really love my Swell bottle. It keeps hot drinks piping hot for 12 hours, and cold drinks nice and icy for 24 hours. Also, it’s made of steel, and I can drop it on the cement studio floors to my heart’s content with no consequences (other than spooking the artists). I also love the color, Milky Way, which reminds me of the holographic 90’s trend of my youth.

Also, on a serious note, a Swell water bottle is heavy enough to use as self-defense if you’re walking home after a job. For more on self-defense, see my note on embassy pens below.


Lip balm

Keep your lips supple and happy with a good lip balm. If you’re wearing lipstick, of course bring that too so you can touch-up. But if you’re going for the natural lip, it helps to keep your pout moisturized.

Here are some of my favorite balms and glosses

This Tatcha Camellia Gold Spun Lip Balm ($30 at Sephora) is the real deal. My lips never felt softer, and the ACTUAL GOLD FLAKES add a very subtle shimmer.

Sugar Lip Treatment SPF 15 in Rose ($24 at Sephora) adds a light pink sheen and silky smooth sun protection

Soap and Glory Sexy Mother Plumper XXL Lip Plumping Gloss ($14 at Ulta Beauty) plumps those babies up and comes in pretty neutral colors. I also love the smooth, tingly formula.

Burt’s Bees Coconut and Pear Moisturizing Lip Balm ($3.29 at Ulta) is tried and true, and smells delicious.

Eye drops

If you use eye drops, it’s a good idea to bring them along. Sometimes the fixatives, mediums, paint fumes, and other chemicals in the studio can feel a little much. To keep my peepers happy, I like Rohto Cool . It reduces redness and keeps my eyes feeling fresh.

Hair ties

Sometimes the artists might ask you to do something with your hair. My hair is very long, in step with traditional Romani custom and style, so to make sure artists can draw my back and collar bones, I often wear my hair in two braids (been rockin’ that look since kindergarten). Keep some hair ties, and maybe a comb, in case you need to change your hairdo.

Invisibobble ($7 at Sephora) are great because they don’t leave an imprint on your hair and they rarely tangle.

I also love the Sephora Cellection Quick Fix Hair Ties ($6 at Sephora) because they are very resilient despite my ridiculously big, thick hair, they’re mostly tangle-free, and they’re lovely.

Business cards

Someone in the session might want your business card to hire you for something else or refer you to a friend, and you want to be ready, professional, and memorable. I suggest designing your own business cards and using an image of yourself on the back (preferably a professional shot, not a selfie), so the person with your card remembers who you are. I used to print mine, and I’ve loved the results, and there are a lot of other great sites out there. Take the time to design yours to be clean, easy to read, direct, and reflective of your aesthetic, talents, and skills. Include your name, phone number, email, website, and/or social media page/s. Don’t forget to store them in something protective. I use a vintage silver cigarette case, but you can use any number of things!


Business cards designed via Moo, featuring photography by Oscar Fuertes


I’m a not-so-secret writer, and I tend to get my best ideas while I’m modeling because the work allows me to meditate and focus for 20 minutes at a time over 3 hours. On my 5 minutes breaks, I jot down my thoughts and ideas while I stretch. Even if you’re not a writer, chances are when your brain is quiet, you’ll get some great ideas. Writing them down on paper keeps you off your phone, which is full of distractions, so it’s worth taking a journal with you.

Embassy pen

Embassy pens– what can I say! They are great pens, and they double as a weapon. Sometimes my modeling jobs let out late, and I get nervous walking home. The pointed end of the embassy pen breaks glass if your cab ride goes wrong, and if you use it to strike someone’s temple or eye, it can stun and allow you to get away. Or if someone grabs your wrist, striking the thumb can break the attacker’s grip. If you want to carry any kind of weapon, it’s best that you know how to use it. Check out self defense classes near you. In New York, there are a number of free women’s self-defense classes, and you can ask the instructor to teach you how to best use the pen if you want to carry it.

Embassy pen ($9.95 on Amazon)


Keep a good read with you if things are slow on your breaks. You can think about the story or poetry while you’re modeling and do some deep analysis. “20 Gypsy Women You Should Be Reading” in The VIDA Review has some great books by Romani women, and R. O. Kwon of Electric Lit suggests “46 Books by Women of Color to Read in 2018” for your reading pleasure. I also love this list by Lisa Marie Basile, founder of Luna Luna Magazine and fabulous witch, “8 Books Perfect for Summertime Fever Dreaming.” I don’t know about you, but ideally I’d like to be in that state of mind all the time. It’s also a good excuse to check something classy and strange off your reading list, like The Anatomy of Melancholy by Robert Burton, Madame Blavatsky’s spiritual texts, or The White Goddess by Robert Graves.


I hope that this list helps you life models, or those living the model life (whatever that is), build up your arsenal of beauty, comfort, and creativity. If you like, you can follow the art model bag list I created on Pinterest to stay abreast of any new discoveries I make along the way. Happy modeling! (Or modeling your way through normal life!)



How a little S&M can help you heal

I wrote this article, “How a little S&M can help you heal from sexual trauma,” a while ago for Greatist and wanted to share it here too. I’m all about healing however you need to, and sometimes the body/mind/heart wants to order off the menu. Of course, power play and sexual reclamation aren’t right for every trauma survivor, and even when they are, they might not be right all the time. This is just a look at my own on-going sexual healing, my relationship, and the resources and practices that helped start me off. Some of my favorite resources make an appearance, including….

Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines

Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics podcast

Please: an educated pleasure shop

I hope these resources are helpful! I get a lot of joy working with trauma survivors as a yoga teacher and a fortune teller. Survivors are resilient, tough, and inspiring, and I’m glad that my experiences and my trauma aware training can help me connect. I’m always so honored when a client trusts me enough to share what they’ve been through and what they need. Survivors have been through hell, and I think after processing and working toward loving the self, it affords a kind of second sight.

Wishing you the best of love and pleasure!

Photographer: Deniz Ataman

Resources for Survivors

I am really happy to share these articles I wrote for Greatist, “67 Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors Who Aren’t Sure Where to Turn” (a list of everything from hotlines to alternative therapy treatment centers) and “A Guide to Therapies That Can Heal Sexual Trauma” (a look at some of the most demonstrably effective therapies). As a survivor of sexual trauma, it means a lot to collect these resources and make them available. I have a background in trauma aware yoga, and I’ve found tarot and other tools as helpful ways to approach my own healing, but I’m also a huge proponent of therapy. Safe Horizon has been an excellent resource for me. I hope by sharing these different approaches from a personal perspective will make readers feel less alone, and more comfortable reaching out for help. Everyone deserves to be supported, and everyone deserves healing.

Featured image: “The Wanderers” by Tara McPherson (2013). Please visit her site and support her work at

Tarot for Mental Health in Greatist

I’m so delighted to share my article about reading tarot cards with friends for mental health. Tarot readings with friends can be really lovely for your brain-heart, particularly if you do it regularly and mindfully. If you’re curious about tarot for mental health, I have some little rituals, practices, and spreads for you in this Greatist article, inspired by my sassy Romani grandmother’s teachings. If you try this with friends or solo, tell me how it goes!

& if you’d like a private reading in person or over the phone, I’m still your girl!

Thanks to Jess Novak for being the best editor, and photography credit & thanks to the magnificent Aurora Rose of